Nothing worth having ...

I'm sure everyone else's parents joined mine in repeating ridiculous cliches that nobody ever paid attention to like, "wear clean underwear so if you're ever in a car accident ... " and "Nothing worth having comes easy" and "wear a condom." You know...pointless crap like that.

But as I get older, not only do I find myself checking my daughter's underwear for skidmarks, but I wholeheartedly believe that you will be made to suffer for everything in your life that is worth having.

As some of you know, and even fewer of you care, I started my own business in June. Money has been trickling in, but only a fraction of my previous income. This has led to an inordinate amount of strife and sacrifice within my family. After I donked off the last few dollars in my Full Tilt account, one of the sacrifices I had to make was poker (and indirectly this blog once I found out that nobody cares about what I have to say outside of my poker disasters).

I always knew I enjoyed the game, but I never realized what a place in my life it had taken until I could no longer piss away $125 a month in "entertainment" entry fees on Full Tilt. I had been a voracious reader of poker books, infrequent poster on message boards, avid podcast listener...all in an attempt to improve my lot in my game of choice. But once the money dried up and I could no longer ply my trade (hobby), I lost interest in those learning tools as well. Like a former athlete who cannot watch the game he/she once loved. Okay, maybe a really bad athlete who gave up sports to be an athletic trainer in high school...that's more in line with my poker skills.

All of that sob story out in the open, I recently closed a deal that will allow the family both to eat outside of soup kitchens and allow me to dive back into the Full Tilt landscape. Thankfully, just in time for BBTwo.


So good news everyone...dead money coming out!

The more things change...

Blue Jackets get blown out...Ohio State is number 1 in the country...and a promising fantasy football season goes in the toilet.

I drafted Thomas Jones. I dropped Thomas Jones. This morning.

The lesson as always...I'm an idiot.

Change in direction...

I have been writing this blog for others...for poker players and poker bloggers in the hopes that I'd be allowed into their (degenerate) inner circle. And yet, when you don't have any money to play poker, it's a little difficult to write about it. I was trying to write it for the horse racing industry to highlight the good in racing and try to attract more fans. Lately, with every major announcement involving drugs, cheating, online sites precluding many of us from watching certain races out of pure greed...how can I, in good conscience, try to bring ANYONE in as a fan. My recommendations will be the same as they have always been. Everyone needs to attend the Kentucky Derby, the fall races at Keeneland and the Little Brown Jug. And everyone needs to watch the Breeder's Cup and the Saratoga/Meadowlands double card on Hambletonian elimination day.

All of that said, I'm sure my readers will shrink from two to zero, but I am just going to start writing this for myself. Without any thought to anyone who may (or may not) be reading this. Therefore much of this may bore you. Some of it may confuse you. Hopefully some of it will enrage you. But the bottom line is it will "cleanse" me.

First thought...first departure from the old format...some dolt on ESPN wrote this about MY hockey team...the Columbus Blue Jackets.

"Pascal Leclaire, G, Blue Jackets: Let me be clear here; his perceived value has gone up. That's all. He's still Pascal Leclaire and I wouldn't touch him with a borrowed 10-foot pole. Back-to-back shuthouts doesn't change the fact that Leclaire had a .897 save percentage last season and that the Blue Jackets are, and I can't stress this enough, a terrible, terrible team. There are very few wins to be had here, and a whole lot of damage to be done to your save percentage and goals-against average. Don't do it."

Now...I agree to a certain extent. The Blue Jackets are (most likely) not going to be playing any meaningful games after the first of the year. They're (most likely) not making the playoffs. But anyone who knows anything about competition, not even about hockey, knows that this year the Blue Jackets are competing. Even teams with sub-par talent who compete cannot be "terrible, terrible."

So with all due respect for ripping off The Colbert Report ... a wag of the finger to you, Mr. Pete Decker. May you always be relegated to playing fourth fiddle to the "Talentless" Mr. Roto (who wouldn't have a legitimate, unique thought if all of the other fantasy writers died in a tragic cold cut buffet collapse at the yearly Vegas convention).

Just no time...and no money...

With a family and a new business...it is funny how the blog just doesn't seem important anymore. That said, somehow I found time to do this stupid thing that a few of the more "active" bloggers have done. My wife will be pleased to see my lack of nerd-dom.

Send check to wippy1313 c/o ...

Blogger fantasy draft is now complete and I am confident in my superiority. The key to any fantasy draft, despite what podcasters and "experts" might tell you, is not discerning who is going to be the starting running back for the Falcons. If you're relying on Dunn or Norwood, you're in trouble. No, the key is understanding the league rules.

Virtually every fantasy league today operates under different rules. Some start x number of players and some start x+1...some give extra points for a TD of a certain length. The key is to understand those rules and exploit them in the draft. In this blogger league, QBs are given six points for a touchdown pass (same as RB and WR scoring a TD) and that makes them infinitely more valuable than 90% of the leagues out there. Key to this draft was getting what I consider to be one of the top four QBs in the league: Manning, Palmer, Brady and Brees. I ran numerous simulations and the QBs were, without a doubt, the most critical players.

So with the 8th pick in the first round, I was convinced I was going to get Manning. And as the picks went off the board, it was playing out exactly as I had expected. Tomlinson, Jackson, Johnson, Addai...all the players who are fantastic in most leagues, but not the best players in this league. Granted, had I had the #1 pick, I would have probably taken Tomlinson because he is so far and away the best RB, the others were over-rated. Then, the unthinkable happened. Schaubs took Manning right before me (Schaubs had a great draft). I was left looking at a Willie Parker vs. Palmer scenario. I took Palmer. And guess what? Parker was available coming back.

Long story short, I stuck to my guns, devalued WR and TE and highly valued QB and DEF and took a kicker with my final selection. Team looks like this:

QB
Palmer
Leinart

RB
Parker
Thomas Jones
Lamont Jordan
Ladell Betts

WR
Holt
Driver
Bruce
Santonio Holmes

TE
Cooley

DEF
Ravens

K
Graham

Back-up RBs are potentially superstars, but not confidently solid. Could be an issue. Bruce is an injury risk and Holt is already hurt, but I like my WR. Side note on Holt: I actually wanted to take either Javon Walker or Roy Williams, but with my clock reading 1:20 left to make a pick, it auto-picked Holt. I raised the issue with the commish...he gave me Walker...but I asked him to reverse it given the cacophony of moaning from the other players. If Holt's knee continues to be a problem, that could be the difference.

All-in-all, I feel relatively confident. There are still a few good players on the waiver wire and I think I have a good core. But the key is having a good QB. Those starting Romo, Hasselbeck, et al are at a real disadvantage. Then again, the guy starting Hasselbeck has Tomlinson...sooooo...

Look up: Non-sequitor

Blogger fantasy draft starts in one hour.

I bought my three-year-old a hamster last night.

May the lord have mercy on my soul.

Anybody need a RB?

My brother put together a last minute fantasy football league on espn.com for our family...so they can dip their toes in the water. No money. I know, what's the point, right? Well, the only reason I'm mentioning it is that if I can make this thing competitive it will be a miracle. I missed the first 13 rounds of the 17 round draft due to a prior commitment and when I got back, I had eight running backs, two tight ends and three wide receivers. One running back was Jamal Lewis. One WR was Terry Glenn, one was Joe Horn and the other was Roy Williams (thankfully).

I drafted Jay Cutler, Pittsburgh D/ST, Brandon Marshall, Olindo Mare...I already traded Thomas Jones and Terry Glenn for Marques Colston...so I'm pretty happy with my starting line-up...but my back-ups need help.

Stay tuned.