That tuning fork goes off in your loins ...

No, this isn't about the porn "p" ... it's the poker "p."

Hopefully it is well-documented by now that I struggle with the psychological aspect of the game. My mood swings dramatically alter my play and my Jekyl and Hyde personas can be somewhere between Alan Kessler and Joe Sebok...and Jason Alexander.

True to form, Sunday I decided I was going to play in FTOPS 3 and I spent over 3/4 of my bankroll on trying to qualify. Of course, I didn't. I then proceeded to donk the REST of my bankroll off at the Omaha tables, playing WAY too high of limits, trying to get it all back quickly as I didn't have any money to recharge the account.

By the end of Sunday night, my Full Tilt Poker account had $25.32 in it. At least I had:

Sadly, it wasn't until Monday night at 9:30 that I realized the problem with my plan to make the HOY my bankroll panacea (no, not the fact that I had never cashed in a BBT event)...Mondays at the HOY is a $26 buy-in. So clearly I just played a little .05/.10 hold'em, watched Heroes and went to bed, right? Hell no. I sat at an Omaha table and had my bankroll down to $13 before winning a $13 pot and I logged into the HOY at 9:55.

Now, anyone who has ever been to Vegas knows how this story should end. I should donk off all of my starting chips, lose in the first level and kick myself over and over again for chasing and chasing and chasing. And according to the ultimate HOY champ, Astin, that's the direction I was heading, "I'll be honest, when I was next to him early in the tournament I didn't think he stood a chance to go deep with the way he was playing." And yet...wait for it...wait for it...I finished second for a $250 score. I feel like the Earth has stopped rotating...a twinkie has actually decomposed...these types of events bend the space-time continuim. You're never supposed to win in these situations. There must be a plan for me. For this money.

It HAS to be to spend it all to buy into FTOPS 5 tonight for $216.

Right?