No, I don't mean, "Well, 76% of the time when I get KJo in the hijack and flat call, I find myself vulnerable to pocket pairs 33-99..." I will leave that to
PokerTracker. I mean mentally. Psychologically. What is your biggest flaw? Mine is easy. My desire for respect.
This may sound odd (or slightly Rodney Dangerfield-esque for anyone old enough to remember Rodney Dangerfield or brilliant enough to recognize the genius of Caddyshack)...but hear me out. I assure you, it is an even bigger problem than your inability to fold the KJ. I am slowly beginning to realize that this perfectionism and childish focus on praise and acceptance is self-destructive in my professional life, but I am painfully aware of the -EV as it relates to this particular game of skill.
My yearning for respect at the poker table, either on the virtual or visibly stained felt, manifests itself in several ways. First of all, and most glaringly, I WAY overuse the continuation bet. I want respect for the hand that I am pretending I am holding. Nice, huh? There are just sometimes where a check is prudent, necessary or at the very least acceptable. Not me. I fire. Everytime. I just can't help myself.
Less obviously, I become obsessed with any kind of standings. In my monthly poker league, I would rather finish third every time and end up with high points for the league (but toward the bottom in ROI) than win twice and flip-flop the deliverables. I played virtually EVERY BBT event until this week. I was one of the leaders in events played and one of the bottom feeders for points per events played. With $0 to show for my efforts.
I find this quixotic quest for respect to be even worse in live play than in online play. The thought of getting up first from that tournament and walking out of the room, knowing I got all of my money in with the best of it is terrifying. I would much rather finish in the middle of the pack and have folded that middle set because I was just SURE the other guy had top set and I didn't want to bust too early. I even play for the "story." You know, the story you tell your poker-retarded friends and loved ones. The one where, "I got all of my money in as a 60% favorite, but the donkey sucked out on me and I was first out" = LOSER. But "I was just card dead...I fought and fought and finished 32nd out of 195" = ersatz credibility. Could you HAVE a more destructive philosophy? Aside from a style of play which earns you the nickname "Mr. Inside Straight" of course.
I enter this confessional because last night I expended a hard-earned $75 token to enter a satellite for the 100-seat Main Event Extravaganza on Full Tilt. I won a nice pot early on and found myself sitting near the top of the 19 person field. I proceeded to play not to lose and subsequently bubbled fourth when top 2 got seats and third got $250. In a tournament where the top three get paid, my honest to God goal after that first pot was to make the final table. Not to win. Not to earn a seat. To best less than half the field and watch my full tilt background morph into the bastardized WPT final table set.
Why? Because I recently uncovered the poker database where you can check your stats and I felt my final table percentage was a little too low. As MTTs are my passion when it comes to poker, this is the one mental flaw I simply MUST overcome if I am ever to become profitable. As any highly-paid and equally fucked up shrink will tell you, admitting it is the first step. Now...if I just knew what the second step was...
"I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?"
