An Introduction...

Despite the audible groaning from many across the State of Ohio and from many across the tubes that make up this debacle known as the internet, I am making my triumphant return to the world of blogging.

What? None of you knew I was ever here in the first place? I don’t blame you. Most of you are either a) degenerate gamblers so desperate for blogs you trickled down to mine; b) you’re here accidentally because you typed Brock instead of cock and you’re sorely disappointed; or c) I am related to you and I’ve begged you just to visit the page so SOMEONE has read this damn thing. Oh and MoMo, sorry for the cock reference. You’ll forget it soon enough anyway.

With those initial introductions out of the way, for this initial post, I want to lay out my “constitution” so you get a general feeling for who I am and what I’m about.

I have been married for seven years and I have two children under three.

I am virtually broke (see above).

I have almost zero time for poker or playing the ponies or Las Vegas (see two above).

I am an equal opportunity gambler…unlike many of you, I enjoy MANY ways to lose my money…as I say in the intro to this blog, I consider myself a gambathlete. That said, my favorites are poker, horses, fantasy sports, fantasy porn, wagering on politics and sigma derby. Not necessarily in that order.

I HATE sports betting. I do it. I love to talk about it. But I HATE it. And I suck at it. As I heard someone say, the enjoyment I receive when I win doesn’t off-set the bitter anger when I lose.

I play primarily on Full Tilt Poker, Poker Stats, YouBet and BrisBet/AmericaTab.

I play primarily on voyeurweb.

I enjoy horrific television (Real Housewives of Orange County and Rob and Amber: Against the Odds to name a few).

I am a vocal Republican.

I am a closet pervert.

I once had an obsession with The Brave Little Toaster. No, not the ACTUAL toaster. The movie. I’m not that sick.

I hate the word donkey.

Sometimes I cry that I don’t play Golden Tee as much as I used to.

Sometimes I cry that I don’t have as much hair as I used to.

I have an enormous ego.

I play mostly tournaments. Horse betting or poker…mostly tournaments.

I play mostly NL Hold’em and harness racing.

I prefer to play Omaha Hi/Lo and thoroughbred racing.

I would rather watch the Little Brown Jug than the Kentucky Derby.

I would rather attend the Kentucky Derby than the Little Brown Jug.

I think Barack Obama is fleecing America and is mostly an incarnation of the media.

I play in a poker league with other degenerate gamblers who also happen to be husbands and fathers. Including my own father.

I learned to gamble from my father.

My wife routinely blames my father for my gambling.

I went to a small Division III college.

I am a diehard Ohio State fan.

I promise to never tell a bad beat story on my blog unless there’s a teaching lesson in it.

I ask that you never e-mail me a bad beat story unless there’s a teaching lesson in it for me.

My blogs are routinely too long.

I’ve never won more than $200 in a poker tournament.

I’ve spent more than $200 in an hour at a strip club.

I’ve never bought into an online poker tournament with a buy-in over $10.

I’ve never bought into a live poker tournament with a buy-in over $60.

Okay, that pretty much sums it up for now. Me in a nutshell. Please feel free to e-mail/comment whenever you wish. I’m usually sitting at home broke and awake (see first line from this constitution).