Wednesday, June 27, 2007

A Parade for Hitler...

I am a relatively young buck, but I have certainly seen video of the fantastic parade the world threw in honor of the sadistic Austrian following his tragic, self-inflicted demise.

What? There wasn't one? I'll be damned. I could have sworn ...

Well, at the very least, I was certainly old enough to drive all night and attend the candlelight vigil in Raleigh where Rae Carruth was imprisoned after his pregnant girlfriend had the nerve to die and give birth to a child with cerebral palsy due to a tragic and pre-mature birth. All because of a silly little drive-by shooting. The day they found that poor Carruth huddling in a trunk, confused, scared and the true victim in this sordid tale...I wept.

Yeah. You're right. That didn't happen either.

But do you know what DID happen? A steroid-riddled former "professional" wrestler killed his wife and son, co-habitated with them for the weekend, their bodies laying in the house, before sending chilling text messages to his "colleagues" and then hanging himself on weight equipment. Disgusting and tragic, right? Yeah...for the inhuman, muscle-bound, mental midget, right?

At least that's what the world of professional wrestling thinks.

I need to confess that I am NOT a wrestling fan. I think it speaks to the lowest common denominator of society and is an embarrassment to American culture. But this has nothing to do with wrestling. This is a simple issue of humanity. What did WWE do in the wake of this familial tragedy? They ran a three-hour TRIBUTE to Chris Benoit showing his "best" matches over the years and interviews with announcers and "athletes" who knew him.

Words are insufficient to describe how revolted I was when I heard this. What could possibly be the positive outcome of this? Aside from ratings. Quite simply, this personifies the problems with wrestling, the quest for ratings and the mental state of the demographic targeted by WWE and WCW and the like.

This is not to say I am not slightly sympathetic to the individuals over-run by the effects of steroids. They are horrific drugs that morph the body physically, chemically and mentally into a shell of what it once was. But these individuals CHOOSE to take these drugs. They know the risks. Compare this with alcoholics, schizophrenics and others who are mentally ill...admittedly they do not deserve a free pass...but they are not in control of the diseases which afflict their minds and bodies. Instead, we vilify them. We take their jobs, we place stigmas on them, insurance companies are more likely to pay for steroids, destined for nefarious uses, than they are extensive mental health care.

Kill your wife and child, live with their bodies for a weekend and then kill get a televised, three-hour tribute. Battle the immobilizing effects of depression and you lose your job and go into bankruptcy trying to hold your life together. Right.

Oh, crap, I have to go. The "Support OJ" telethon is on and I have to pledge.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Attention Fantasy

Short post tonight...just wanted to pimp the new venture by some blogger "friends"...mastermind blinders and the man that made it all beefcake himself...Joe Speaker. The product is Fantasy Sports, it's not another roto manager or lame site that regurgitates wire stories and makes you pay for the privilege of reading them in their particular font and, this is Fantasy Sports for the slot machine generation.

Have you ever sat down the second Sunday of an NFL season and cringed when your starting RB grabs his knee? Or watched the calendar turn to May and watch that closer you traded up to get give up back-to-back longjohns? Well, Fantasy Sports Live can make that pain go away. They offer daily and sub-daily contests and pay out cash. It's a skill based game (clearly) so it's legal and about the only thing that can make June baseball interesting.

So go check it out.

(Note: This is not a paid advertisement, but if someone WANTS to pay me, I will gladly accept. Anyone? Hello?)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Unlike Vinnie Vinh...I'm back...

You know when you go to the grocery, you buy fruits and vegetables, fat-free veggie dip and some low-calorie fruit juice and you swear you're going on a diet...but you go home, finish the box of Cheez-its, down a hefeweizen and drink hershey's syrup out of the bottle? You don't? Ummm...well blogging has been a lot like that for me.

I PREPARE to blog...I WANT to blog...and yet I still just end up playing on Full Tilt, drinking said hefeweizen and checking out Fleshbot or Sexy Girlfriend.

But carrot-stick in my mouth and a glass full of low-cal prune juice in front of me, I'm back.

I would love to say that it was a big win in the Main Event giveaway on FT or landing a big contract for my fledgling new freelance PR business that drove me back to the blogosphere. Sadly, it was this link: Yes, I am a 29-year-old, married, father of two who hasn't purposely hit a happy hour in well over 18 months ("Welcome to's Happy Hour"), and yet I saw his on a blog and I thought...AWESOME. That's how I roll. They only have this little gem for Portland and Columbus right now...but they're promising more cities. Be the first to beg for yours.

Sadly in all the time I've been away, I don't have a lot to share.

I played in the MATH on Monday night...made a decent run, but only thanks to the following hands:

and ...

I actually asked in the chat if I could just forfeit. I was embarrassed to continue. BUT...I played it out. And finished in the BBT points, but nowhere near the money. Yeah, me. I am hovering around the top-50 in points and around the magical number of events played to qualify for the free-roll which sounds like it will be about 60 players going for $1,500-$2,000...not a bad gig.

The only other thing I have to say...after returning from a family trip to Orlando...all I have to say is...Florida is f-ing hot and Mickey "I'll charge you $120 for something you can get for $30 in Pataskala" Mouse can lick my balls. Okay, that might be a little harsh. It costs $32.10 in Pataskala.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Aces in PL Omaha...and Bron Bron

Following a particularly exhausting "State of the Marriage" conversation that surprisingly didn't include any poker rants (from either of us), I had a few minutes before sleep came to me last I did what anyone reading this blog would do. I fired up the new laptop and hopped on Full Tilt. Unfortunately, I made one too many pointless arguments during the marriage "discussion" because I missed the Riverchasers tournament by three minutes.

Next best thing: my "money game" ... .50/$1 PLO. This seems to be the best level for my bankroll and my limited knowledge of the game. It has just enough solid players that you can easily single them out and avoid them with anything less than the nuts. It has enough loose-passive players to make flops worth seeing. It has enough complete donkeys with money to burn to call $30 bets with top pair. In essence: c'est parfait.

I hadn't been at the table long (still around my $100 buy-in) when I found AcAd3c8d in middle position. It's not a GREAT hand, I don't like hands that aren't all connected, but with aces and double-suited, I prepared to see a flop. A familiar face in this level and game raised from UTG+2 to $8. now, to anyone not familiar, this is a ridiculously large raise for this game where it's routine to go three or four hands without a pre-flop raise. He might as well have lit up the neon sign that said, "I have pocket aces and think we're playing Texas Hold'em."

So I know at this point, my aces are somewhat irrelevant. But I still have two possible nut-flush draws and can hide the fact that at the very least we're chopping this pot. So I call. A player with only $12 in front of him/her just puts the rest in and "bumps" it to $12 to see the flop. Much to my surprise, the button calls. The initial raiser calls, I call and we see a rainbow flop of 8-3-Q with almost $50 in the pot. Initial raiser bets the max with his "top pair" ... I call off the remainder of my chips not even remotely fearing a set and knowing my meager two pair are good here. Player to my left is all-in, but surprisingly the button also calls. Rest of the hand checked down, I click the re-load button figuring the button for a set or higher two pair and he promptly flips a queen for a pair of queens, as previously determined the initial raiser's AA didn't improve and the all-in player had unimproved KK in his hand.

I scooped a pot of over $300 in a .50/$1 game.

I am not complaining mind you. Not bad for 30 seconds of work. But as I sat there for a few more rounds, I saw exorbitant raises with AA two more times. One time, I had odds and chased a flush draw that didn't get there. I folded on the river and the player flipped his AA. I typed "didn't need to show...pretty clear what you had." He responded, "nice read...I can respect that." Nice read? My overweight, trash-digging mental midget of a mutt who was snoring loudly on the couch next to me knew he had aces.

I know in texas hold'em, you generally want to raise those aces up to push a lot of the drawing hands out that might hit and beat you. But in Omaha...what's the point? Nobody knows what they have until the flop. Why not call the bet and if you hit trips, nobody sees it coming. Or if you're double-suited, see if you pick up a draw that the king-high flush may not be prepared for. Or if the board comes rags, put out a bet. If you get re-raised, you can smell a set and fold. But what good does it do to take out a billboard that says, "I have AA...if you can beat me, feel comfortable slow-playing against me and if not, just fold and save yourself some money."

Again, I'm not complaining mind you.

On a side note, I was playing these hands while watching the one-man freak show that was LeBron James last night. LBJ is simply incredible...not the one that was married to Ladybird...the basketball player. I saw the younger LBJ play in high school, I appreciated his physical prowess and promptly told everyone who would listen that he would flame out in the NBA when he faced players equal to him in physique and athleticism. I think it was apparent last night that he'll have to find those aliens from Space Jam if he wants to find an equal in those departments. I cannot find any superlatives to write that the gaggle of sports columnists around the country haven't already used this know the columnists...the ones that said LBJ would never be big-time because he passed the ball at the end of Game 1. At least I said that BEFORE he got to the NBA.

Oh and a reminder. He's 22. That's less than the amount of straight points he scored to finish off the game last night (25). Incredible.