I am a relatively young buck, but I have certainly seen video of the fantastic parade the world threw in honor of the sadistic Austrian following his tragic, self-inflicted demise.
What? There wasn't one? I'll be damned. I could have sworn ...
Well, at the very least, I was certainly old enough to drive all night and attend the candlelight vigil in Raleigh where Rae Carruth was imprisoned after his pregnant girlfriend had the nerve to die and give birth to a child with cerebral palsy due to a tragic and pre-mature birth. All because of a silly little drive-by shooting. The day they found that poor Carruth huddling in a trunk, confused, scared and the true victim in this sordid tale...I wept.
Yeah. You're right. That didn't happen either.
But do you know what DID happen? A steroid-riddled former "professional" wrestler killed his wife and son, co-habitated with them for the weekend, their bodies laying in the house, before sending chilling text messages to his "colleagues" and then hanging himself on weight equipment. Disgusting and tragic, right? Yeah...for the inhuman, muscle-bound, mental midget, right?
At least that's what the world of professional wrestling thinks.
I need to confess that I am NOT a wrestling fan. I think it speaks to the lowest common denominator of society and is an embarrassment to American culture. But this has nothing to do with wrestling. This is a simple issue of humanity. What did WWE do in the wake of this familial tragedy? They ran a three-hour TRIBUTE to Chris Benoit showing his "best" matches over the years and interviews with announcers and "athletes" who knew him.
Words are insufficient to describe how revolted I was when I heard this. What could possibly be the positive outcome of this? Aside from ratings. Quite simply, this personifies the problems with wrestling, the quest for ratings and the mental state of the demographic targeted by WWE and WCW and the like.
This is not to say I am not slightly sympathetic to the individuals over-run by the effects of steroids. They are horrific drugs that morph the body physically, chemically and mentally into a shell of what it once was. But these individuals CHOOSE to take these drugs. They know the risks. Compare this with alcoholics, schizophrenics and others who are mentally ill...admittedly they do not deserve a free pass...but they are not in control of the diseases which afflict their minds and bodies. Instead, we vilify them. We take their jobs, we place stigmas on them, insurance companies are more likely to pay for steroids, destined for nefarious uses, than they are extensive mental health care.
Kill your wife and child, live with their bodies for a weekend and then kill yourself...you get a televised, three-hour tribute. Battle the immobilizing effects of depression and you lose your job and go into bankruptcy trying to hold your life together. Right.
Oh, crap, I have to go. The "Support OJ" telethon is on and I have to pledge.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Attention Fantasy Freaks...er...players
Short post tonight...just wanted to pimp the new venture by some blogger "friends"...mastermind blinders and the man that made it all happen...mr. beefcake himself...Joe Speaker. The product is Fantasy Sports Live...no, it's not another roto manager or lame site that regurgitates wire stories and makes you pay for the privilege of reading them in their particular font and format...no, this is Fantasy Sports for the slot machine generation.
Have you ever sat down the second Sunday of an NFL season and cringed when your starting RB grabs his knee? Or watched the calendar turn to May and watch that closer you traded up to get give up back-to-back longjohns? Well, Fantasy Sports Live can make that pain go away. They offer daily and sub-daily contests and pay out cash. It's a skill based game (clearly) so it's legal and about the only thing that can make June baseball interesting.
So go check it out.
(Note: This is not a paid advertisement, but if someone WANTS to pay me, I will gladly accept. Anyone? Hello?)
Have you ever sat down the second Sunday of an NFL season and cringed when your starting RB grabs his knee? Or watched the calendar turn to May and watch that closer you traded up to get give up back-to-back longjohns? Well, Fantasy Sports Live can make that pain go away. They offer daily and sub-daily contests and pay out cash. It's a skill based game (clearly) so it's legal and about the only thing that can make June baseball interesting.
So go check it out.
(Note: This is not a paid advertisement, but if someone WANTS to pay me, I will gladly accept. Anyone? Hello?)
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Unlike Vinnie Vinh...I'm back...
You know when you go to the grocery, you buy fruits and vegetables, fat-free veggie dip and some low-calorie fruit juice and you swear you're going on a diet...but you go home, finish the box of Cheez-its, down a hefeweizen and drink hershey's syrup out of the bottle? You don't? Ummm...well blogging has been a lot like that for me.
I PREPARE to blog...I WANT to blog...and yet I still just end up playing on Full Tilt, drinking said hefeweizen and checking out Fleshbot or Sexy Girlfriend.
But carrot-stick in my mouth and a glass full of low-cal prune juice in front of me, I'm back.
I would love to say that it was a big win in the Main Event giveaway on FT or landing a big contract for my fledgling new freelance PR business that drove me back to the blogosphere. Sadly, it was this link: www.urbandrinks.com. Yes, I am a 29-year-old, married, father of two who hasn't purposely hit a happy hour in well over 18 months ("Welcome to Applebees...it's Happy Hour"), and yet I saw his on a blog and I thought...AWESOME. That's how I roll. They only have this little gem for Portland and Columbus right now...but they're promising more cities. Be the first to beg for yours.
Sadly in all the time I've been away, I don't have a lot to share.
I played in the MATH on Monday night...made a decent run, but only thanks to the following hands:
and ...
I actually asked in the chat if I could just forfeit. I was embarrassed to continue. BUT...I played it out. And finished in the BBT points, but nowhere near the money. Yeah, me. I am hovering around the top-50 in points and around the magical number of events played to qualify for the free-roll which sounds like it will be about 60 players going for $1,500-$2,000...not a bad gig.
The only other thing I have to say...after returning from a family trip to Orlando...all I have to say is...Florida is f-ing hot and Mickey "I'll charge you $120 for something you can get for $30 in Pataskala" Mouse can lick my balls. Okay, that might be a little harsh. It costs $32.10 in Pataskala.
I PREPARE to blog...I WANT to blog...and yet I still just end up playing on Full Tilt, drinking said hefeweizen and checking out Fleshbot or Sexy Girlfriend.
But carrot-stick in my mouth and a glass full of low-cal prune juice in front of me, I'm back.
I would love to say that it was a big win in the Main Event giveaway on FT or landing a big contract for my fledgling new freelance PR business that drove me back to the blogosphere. Sadly, it was this link: www.urbandrinks.com. Yes, I am a 29-year-old, married, father of two who hasn't purposely hit a happy hour in well over 18 months ("Welcome to Applebees...it's Happy Hour"), and yet I saw his on a blog and I thought...AWESOME. That's how I roll. They only have this little gem for Portland and Columbus right now...but they're promising more cities. Be the first to beg for yours.
Sadly in all the time I've been away, I don't have a lot to share.
I played in the MATH on Monday night...made a decent run, but only thanks to the following hands:
and ...
I actually asked in the chat if I could just forfeit. I was embarrassed to continue. BUT...I played it out. And finished in the BBT points, but nowhere near the money. Yeah, me. I am hovering around the top-50 in points and around the magical number of events played to qualify for the free-roll which sounds like it will be about 60 players going for $1,500-$2,000...not a bad gig.
The only other thing I have to say...after returning from a family trip to Orlando...all I have to say is...Florida is f-ing hot and Mickey "I'll charge you $120 for something you can get for $30 in Pataskala" Mouse can lick my balls. Okay, that might be a little harsh. It costs $32.10 in Pataskala.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Aces in PL Omaha...and Bron Bron
Following a particularly exhausting "State of the Marriage" conversation that surprisingly didn't include any poker rants (from either of us), I had a few minutes before sleep came to me last night...so I did what anyone reading this blog would do. I fired up the new laptop and hopped on Full Tilt. Unfortunately, I made one too many pointless arguments during the marriage "discussion" because I missed the Riverchasers tournament by three minutes.
Next best thing: my "money game" ... .50/$1 PLO. This seems to be the best level for my bankroll and my limited knowledge of the game. It has just enough solid players that you can easily single them out and avoid them with anything less than the nuts. It has enough loose-passive players to make flops worth seeing. It has enough complete donkeys with money to burn to call $30 bets with top pair. In essence: c'est parfait.
I hadn't been at the table long (still around my $100 buy-in) when I found AcAd3c8d in middle position. It's not a GREAT hand, I don't like hands that aren't all connected, but with aces and double-suited, I prepared to see a flop. A familiar face in this level and game raised from UTG+2 to $8. now, to anyone not familiar, this is a ridiculously large raise for this game where it's routine to go three or four hands without a pre-flop raise. He might as well have lit up the neon sign that said, "I have pocket aces and think we're playing Texas Hold'em."
So I know at this point, my aces are somewhat irrelevant. But I still have two possible nut-flush draws and can hide the fact that at the very least we're chopping this pot. So I call. A player with only $12 in front of him/her just puts the rest in and "bumps" it to $12 to see the flop. Much to my surprise, the button calls. The initial raiser calls, I call and we see a rainbow flop of 8-3-Q with almost $50 in the pot. Initial raiser bets the max with his "top pair" ... I call off the remainder of my chips not even remotely fearing a set and knowing my meager two pair are good here. Player to my left is all-in, but surprisingly the button also calls. Rest of the hand checked down, I click the re-load button figuring the button for a set or higher two pair and he promptly flips a queen for a pair of queens, as previously determined the initial raiser's AA didn't improve and the all-in player had unimproved KK in his hand.
I scooped a pot of over $300 in a .50/$1 game.
I am not complaining mind you. Not bad for 30 seconds of work. But as I sat there for a few more rounds, I saw exorbitant raises with AA two more times. One time, I had odds and chased a flush draw that didn't get there. I folded on the river and the player flipped his AA. I typed "didn't need to show...pretty clear what you had." He responded, "nice read...I can respect that." Nice read? My overweight, trash-digging mental midget of a mutt who was snoring loudly on the couch next to me knew he had aces.
I know in texas hold'em, you generally want to raise those aces up to push a lot of the drawing hands out that might hit and beat you. But in Omaha...what's the point? Nobody knows what they have until the flop. Why not call the bet and if you hit trips, nobody sees it coming. Or if you're double-suited, see if you pick up a draw that the king-high flush may not be prepared for. Or if the board comes rags, put out a bet. If you get re-raised, you can smell a set and fold. But what good does it do to take out a billboard that says, "I have AA...if you can beat me, feel comfortable slow-playing against me and if not, just fold and save yourself some money."
Again, I'm not complaining mind you.
On a side note, I was playing these hands while watching the one-man freak show that was LeBron James last night. LBJ is simply incredible...not the one that was married to Ladybird...the basketball player. I saw the younger LBJ play in high school, I appreciated his physical prowess and promptly told everyone who would listen that he would flame out in the NBA when he faced players equal to him in physique and athleticism. I think it was apparent last night that he'll have to find those aliens from Space Jam if he wants to find an equal in those departments. I cannot find any superlatives to write that the gaggle of sports columnists around the country haven't already used this morning...you know the columnists...the ones that said LBJ would never be big-time because he passed the ball at the end of Game 1. At least I said that BEFORE he got to the NBA.
Oh and a reminder. He's 22. That's less than the amount of straight points he scored to finish off the game last night (25). Incredible.
Next best thing: my "money game" ... .50/$1 PLO. This seems to be the best level for my bankroll and my limited knowledge of the game. It has just enough solid players that you can easily single them out and avoid them with anything less than the nuts. It has enough loose-passive players to make flops worth seeing. It has enough complete donkeys with money to burn to call $30 bets with top pair. In essence: c'est parfait.
I hadn't been at the table long (still around my $100 buy-in) when I found AcAd3c8d in middle position. It's not a GREAT hand, I don't like hands that aren't all connected, but with aces and double-suited, I prepared to see a flop. A familiar face in this level and game raised from UTG+2 to $8. now, to anyone not familiar, this is a ridiculously large raise for this game where it's routine to go three or four hands without a pre-flop raise. He might as well have lit up the neon sign that said, "I have pocket aces and think we're playing Texas Hold'em."
So I know at this point, my aces are somewhat irrelevant. But I still have two possible nut-flush draws and can hide the fact that at the very least we're chopping this pot. So I call. A player with only $12 in front of him/her just puts the rest in and "bumps" it to $12 to see the flop. Much to my surprise, the button calls. The initial raiser calls, I call and we see a rainbow flop of 8-3-Q with almost $50 in the pot. Initial raiser bets the max with his "top pair" ... I call off the remainder of my chips not even remotely fearing a set and knowing my meager two pair are good here. Player to my left is all-in, but surprisingly the button also calls. Rest of the hand checked down, I click the re-load button figuring the button for a set or higher two pair and he promptly flips a queen for a pair of queens, as previously determined the initial raiser's AA didn't improve and the all-in player had unimproved KK in his hand.
I scooped a pot of over $300 in a .50/$1 game.
I am not complaining mind you. Not bad for 30 seconds of work. But as I sat there for a few more rounds, I saw exorbitant raises with AA two more times. One time, I had odds and chased a flush draw that didn't get there. I folded on the river and the player flipped his AA. I typed "didn't need to show...pretty clear what you had." He responded, "nice read...I can respect that." Nice read? My overweight, trash-digging mental midget of a mutt who was snoring loudly on the couch next to me knew he had aces.
I know in texas hold'em, you generally want to raise those aces up to push a lot of the drawing hands out that might hit and beat you. But in Omaha...what's the point? Nobody knows what they have until the flop. Why not call the bet and if you hit trips, nobody sees it coming. Or if you're double-suited, see if you pick up a draw that the king-high flush may not be prepared for. Or if the board comes rags, put out a bet. If you get re-raised, you can smell a set and fold. But what good does it do to take out a billboard that says, "I have AA...if you can beat me, feel comfortable slow-playing against me and if not, just fold and save yourself some money."
Again, I'm not complaining mind you.
On a side note, I was playing these hands while watching the one-man freak show that was LeBron James last night. LBJ is simply incredible...not the one that was married to Ladybird...the basketball player. I saw the younger LBJ play in high school, I appreciated his physical prowess and promptly told everyone who would listen that he would flame out in the NBA when he faced players equal to him in physique and athleticism. I think it was apparent last night that he'll have to find those aliens from Space Jam if he wants to find an equal in those departments. I cannot find any superlatives to write that the gaggle of sports columnists around the country haven't already used this morning...you know the columnists...the ones that said LBJ would never be big-time because he passed the ball at the end of Game 1. At least I said that BEFORE he got to the NBA.
Oh and a reminder. He's 22. That's less than the amount of straight points he scored to finish off the game last night (25). Incredible.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
I hate posting twice in one day...
But there is an epidemic which I fear will become even more wide-spread as posers (and some blonkeys) descend upon Las Vegas for the World Series, Bellagio tourney and Venetian Deep Stack tourney. This plague which is sweeping America: douchebaggery. This, let's face it, disease can best be described with the two following items:
www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com (thank you fivehundybymidnight.com)
and thank you to my brother and College Humor for this gem (click on it...it's a video):
I urge you. Do your part to stop the douchebaggery.
www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com (thank you fivehundybymidnight.com)
and thank you to my brother and College Humor for this gem (click on it...it's a video):
I urge you. Do your part to stop the douchebaggery.
My wife was right...Ohio sucks
And this came from a Pittsburgh native. Let me repeat that. Someone from Pittsburgh is saying that Ohio sucks. And I'm agreeing with her. I know, I may have just lost all credibility with anyone who has ever stood at the confluence of despair, pollution and unemployment (also known as the Monongahela, Allegheny and Ohio rivers)...but stay with me for a second.
I have lived in Ohio all of my life (with the notable exception of a few years stuck in traffic on the Beltway of our nation's capital) and I have never been more embarrassed to be an Ohioan. I consider myself a political animal with political friends, political clients and political opinions and I am often the one defending or explaining the actions of politicians. But I do not have an explanation for what is currently happening in the Buckeye State and it makes me ill. Check that. I DO have an explanation for it. And that makes me down right nauseous.
Let me give you a snapshot of the political climate right now as it relates to issues I care about. Slot machines at racetracks (and a few civic locations in Cleveland) were voted down OVERWHELMINGLY last November. Last week, the Senate passed OVERWHELMINGLY a bill which would allow "instant racing" machines to be installed at racetracks (see an "instant racing" machine here). The state's Attorney General is desperately trying to find a way NOT to outlaw games of "skill" like "Tic Tac Fruit" (see a "Tic Tac Fruit" machine here). Poker games are being raided all across the state. The "Dancers for Democracy" failed to get a bill defeated which will cause strip clubs to close at midnight and will require patrons to be at least six feet away from dancers at all times.
Can you get a sense of the hypocrisy?
I know why the slot machines were voted down in November. The way the ballot issue was written and presented, it was going to make the racetrack owners wealthy while being too obscure as to the "real" benefits that Ohio students would see from the scholarships that were to derive from the revenue. Add to that the age-old warring between Ohio's cities and the long-standing competition (hatred) between them and the issue didn't stand a chance.
But that's not the way that politicians and the media spun it. According to them, it was a defeat for expanded gambling. Ohio doesn't want gambling. Nevermind that every state around Ohio has some form of gambling and the parking lots of those states are populated with Ohio cars. Ohio doesn't want gambling. Nevermind the fact that the real "winner" in the short-term would have been the horse racing industry in Ohio, which is an enormous industry on-par with many manufacturing segments that Ohio would be tripping over itself trying to "save" if they were in the competitive disadvantage position that racing is in. Ohio doesn't want gambling.
Fine.
So explain the vote for the instant racing machines. These will provide a fraction of the revenue for the horse industry, they do nothing for Ohio's students and will undoubtedly be just shoved into a corner of a still dilapidated and visitor-unfriendly racetrack. Were the slots to have been approved, these tracks would have been forced to invest in their facilities and actually make racetracks a "destination" instead of a destination for desperation.
Okay, but the REST of Ohio doesn't want gambling.
Fine.
So explain these "skill" games that are popping up all over the state. From what I understand, they're slot machines loosely based on tic-tac-toe that are in almost every truck stop and bar in rural Ohio. And in some circles they're considered SKILL games. And Ohio AG Marc Dann is sending someone around to verify that they are at least 51% skill and therefore legal. Coincidentally, Dann received a tremendous amount of money from those involved with these games. Coincidentally.
But in some of these same bars, or even private clubs, poker games are being raided. People are being taken to jail. For playing a game of unquestionable skill. Right next to someone playing a slot machine. Pseudo-legally. (But nobody in these private clubs is smoking because Ohio's smoking ban was ruled to apply to private clubs as well. I'm just saying.) What kind of a world do we live in where poker is the anti-christ, but dressed up slot machines are accepted revenue makes for those "skillful" enough to succeed? Where are the books on strategy for those games anyway? When is the World Series of Tic-Tac-Fruit? Is it in conjunction with the rock-paper-scissors extravaganza? I'm just saying.
Fine. All of these issues are in some way illegal or at the very least in a legal gray area. But strip clubs are legal in Ohio. They're legal, licensed businesses. Just like bars. Just like restaurants. Except strip clubs happen to have semi-naked people dancing. So what gives the state the right to say they have to close at midnight? What gives them the right to say that LEGAL customers have to stay a certain distance away from LEGAL employees doing LEGAL work? I am passionate about this BUSINESS issue, but it is impossible to discuss with people because they hear strip club, think pervert and stop listening. Similar, I think, to what the legislators did. And the Governor for that matter...who took the chicken's way out and didn't sign the bill, allowing it to become law.
The hypocrisy of all of this stinks. It DEFINITELY doesn't pass the "smell" test as my lobbyist friends say. And, don't forget, I am a REPUBLICAN. Where are the democrats on this? ACLU? Hello? Free speech? Freedom of expression? Liberals? I know you're out there. You voted a lot of respected legislators out of office last November and are propping up phony and vomit-inducing presidential candidates on the single-issue platform that they're "not Republicans."
All of this makes me sick. And it is also part of what led to my career change. I want to make a difference in this state. I want to create associations to look out for the rights of poker players and fix the hypocrisy and temper the influence of radical lunatics infringing on our rights in the name of "values. All of this so that we can once again stand up and say proudly, "Pittsburgh sucks."
I have lived in Ohio all of my life (with the notable exception of a few years stuck in traffic on the Beltway of our nation's capital) and I have never been more embarrassed to be an Ohioan. I consider myself a political animal with political friends, political clients and political opinions and I am often the one defending or explaining the actions of politicians. But I do not have an explanation for what is currently happening in the Buckeye State and it makes me ill. Check that. I DO have an explanation for it. And that makes me down right nauseous.
Let me give you a snapshot of the political climate right now as it relates to issues I care about. Slot machines at racetracks (and a few civic locations in Cleveland) were voted down OVERWHELMINGLY last November. Last week, the Senate passed OVERWHELMINGLY a bill which would allow "instant racing" machines to be installed at racetracks (see an "instant racing" machine here). The state's Attorney General is desperately trying to find a way NOT to outlaw games of "skill" like "Tic Tac Fruit" (see a "Tic Tac Fruit" machine here). Poker games are being raided all across the state. The "Dancers for Democracy" failed to get a bill defeated which will cause strip clubs to close at midnight and will require patrons to be at least six feet away from dancers at all times.
Can you get a sense of the hypocrisy?
I know why the slot machines were voted down in November. The way the ballot issue was written and presented, it was going to make the racetrack owners wealthy while being too obscure as to the "real" benefits that Ohio students would see from the scholarships that were to derive from the revenue. Add to that the age-old warring between Ohio's cities and the long-standing competition (hatred) between them and the issue didn't stand a chance.
But that's not the way that politicians and the media spun it. According to them, it was a defeat for expanded gambling. Ohio doesn't want gambling. Nevermind that every state around Ohio has some form of gambling and the parking lots of those states are populated with Ohio cars. Ohio doesn't want gambling. Nevermind the fact that the real "winner" in the short-term would have been the horse racing industry in Ohio, which is an enormous industry on-par with many manufacturing segments that Ohio would be tripping over itself trying to "save" if they were in the competitive disadvantage position that racing is in. Ohio doesn't want gambling.
Fine.
So explain the vote for the instant racing machines. These will provide a fraction of the revenue for the horse industry, they do nothing for Ohio's students and will undoubtedly be just shoved into a corner of a still dilapidated and visitor-unfriendly racetrack. Were the slots to have been approved, these tracks would have been forced to invest in their facilities and actually make racetracks a "destination" instead of a destination for desperation.
Okay, but the REST of Ohio doesn't want gambling.
Fine.
So explain these "skill" games that are popping up all over the state. From what I understand, they're slot machines loosely based on tic-tac-toe that are in almost every truck stop and bar in rural Ohio. And in some circles they're considered SKILL games. And Ohio AG Marc Dann is sending someone around to verify that they are at least 51% skill and therefore legal. Coincidentally, Dann received a tremendous amount of money from those involved with these games. Coincidentally.
But in some of these same bars, or even private clubs, poker games are being raided. People are being taken to jail. For playing a game of unquestionable skill. Right next to someone playing a slot machine. Pseudo-legally. (But nobody in these private clubs is smoking because Ohio's smoking ban was ruled to apply to private clubs as well. I'm just saying.) What kind of a world do we live in where poker is the anti-christ, but dressed up slot machines are accepted revenue makes for those "skillful" enough to succeed? Where are the books on strategy for those games anyway? When is the World Series of Tic-Tac-Fruit? Is it in conjunction with the rock-paper-scissors extravaganza? I'm just saying.
Fine. All of these issues are in some way illegal or at the very least in a legal gray area. But strip clubs are legal in Ohio. They're legal, licensed businesses. Just like bars. Just like restaurants. Except strip clubs happen to have semi-naked people dancing. So what gives the state the right to say they have to close at midnight? What gives them the right to say that LEGAL customers have to stay a certain distance away from LEGAL employees doing LEGAL work? I am passionate about this BUSINESS issue, but it is impossible to discuss with people because they hear strip club, think pervert and stop listening. Similar, I think, to what the legislators did. And the Governor for that matter...who took the chicken's way out and didn't sign the bill, allowing it to become law.
The hypocrisy of all of this stinks. It DEFINITELY doesn't pass the "smell" test as my lobbyist friends say. And, don't forget, I am a REPUBLICAN. Where are the democrats on this? ACLU? Hello? Free speech? Freedom of expression? Liberals? I know you're out there. You voted a lot of respected legislators out of office last November and are propping up phony and vomit-inducing presidential candidates on the single-issue platform that they're "not Republicans."
All of this makes me sick. And it is also part of what led to my career change. I want to make a difference in this state. I want to create associations to look out for the rights of poker players and fix the hypocrisy and temper the influence of radical lunatics infringing on our rights in the name of "values. All of this so that we can once again stand up and say proudly, "Pittsburgh sucks."
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
I SWEAR this isn't a once-a-week blog...it just looks that way
I can't believe it has been a week since my prolific prose has graced the blogosphere. Unfortunately, between the turmoil in my personal and professional life, c'est la vie.
As I sat in the living room of my in-laws' house in parochial, Primanti's-obsessed (Thanks NewinNov for reminding me to link to this) and poverty-stricken Pittsburgh listening to my father-in-law opine on the finer aspects of Avon's soap-on-a-rope, I thankfully allowed my mind to wander to an even more disgusting topic: my poker play since FTOPS.
Not only have I not cashed in any tournaments, I have been an equal-opportunity mule in cash games...giving my money away at HORSE, OE8, Omaha and even NL HE which I said I was swearing off forever. Each night when I sit down to play, as I click "register" and smooch au revoir to a little more of my pathetic bankroll, I KNOW I am not in a mindset to play. I am pre-occupied and impatient and as far from the analytical rounder of FTOPS as Lindsay Lohan is from her starring role in Freaky Friday. And yet I play. And I lose.
About the time my father-in-law got to exact body parts best for said soap on said rope, I had decided it was time for a poker mantra, a poker manifesto. Something I could read each and every time I sit down for a poker tournament (or my rare cash game appearances) that will put me in the right frame of mind to play "my game." I challenge anyone who doesn't already have a written mantra to craft one and post it in your blog...as everyone's will be different. Based on Fuel55's MATH performance last night, I'm guessing his will consist of:
1) Go all-in.
2) ... repeat.
But he WELL out-lasted my ass so I shouldn't say anything. If we went by last night's MATH performance, my mantra would simply be, slow-play a set to get a LOT of chips then donk them off shortly thereafter when you're about a big dog. I think I had pot odds to make that call though. But I digress.
Finally, after that long-winded introduction, I give you my poker mantra.
As I sat in the living room of my in-laws' house in parochial, Primanti's-obsessed (Thanks NewinNov for reminding me to link to this) and poverty-stricken Pittsburgh listening to my father-in-law opine on the finer aspects of Avon's soap-on-a-rope, I thankfully allowed my mind to wander to an even more disgusting topic: my poker play since FTOPS.
Not only have I not cashed in any tournaments, I have been an equal-opportunity mule in cash games...giving my money away at HORSE, OE8, Omaha and even NL HE which I said I was swearing off forever. Each night when I sit down to play, as I click "register" and smooch au revoir to a little more of my pathetic bankroll, I KNOW I am not in a mindset to play. I am pre-occupied and impatient and as far from the analytical rounder of FTOPS as Lindsay Lohan is from her starring role in Freaky Friday. And yet I play. And I lose.
About the time my father-in-law got to exact body parts best for said soap on said rope, I had decided it was time for a poker mantra, a poker manifesto. Something I could read each and every time I sit down for a poker tournament (or my rare cash game appearances) that will put me in the right frame of mind to play "my game." I challenge anyone who doesn't already have a written mantra to craft one and post it in your blog...as everyone's will be different. Based on Fuel55's MATH performance last night, I'm guessing his will consist of:
1) Go all-in.
2) ... repeat.
But he WELL out-lasted my ass so I shouldn't say anything. If we went by last night's MATH performance, my mantra would simply be, slow-play a set to get a LOT of chips then donk them off shortly thereafter when you're about a big dog. I think I had pot odds to make that call though. But I digress.
Finally, after that long-winded introduction, I give you my poker mantra.
No Porn until after the tournament. Well, maybe at breaks.
AK is a drawing hand.
Flushes are over-rated. Do NOT be a soooted donk. You will lose a lot of chips chasing them and may not win much if they hit.
In the first three levels, if I don't hit the flop HARD...fold...
Percentages are just that. Percentages. They are not absolutes.
I would rather win a small pot with AA and KK than lose a big one
JJ and 10-10 and 9-9 are still JUST pocket pairs
Poker is not about whose dick is bigger…let them think theirs is and then whack them upside the head with yours
It’s okay not to continuation bet the turn…checking can be your friend
I am not a draw donkey…so stop acting like one
Pot odds need not be exact, but they need to be relevant
Poker is poker, it is on the internet more than "Leave it to Beaver" re-runs (With apologies to Pete Gillen)...if you play poorly in a tournament, there's another one later...or tomorrow...or next Sunday.
I am prepared to go out in last place of a tournament if I have followed the above.
I don't want to turn this into a dreaded "blog tag" ... but I am very curious to read the mantras of some other bloggers. May I name five?
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