Cheaters, Democrats and fiscally irresponsible...MUST READ

Isn't it funny how it is human nature to skip over the sections of written works that we actually need to read the most?

For every Tony Robbins-Dr. Phil wannabe who is obsessed with self-realization, there are hundreds who prefer to ignore their flaws and work diligently to further prop up areas of competence and excellence.

Serial cheaters overlook infidelity storylines, Democrats ignore sections on reason and logic and the fiscally irresponsible flip past sections on credit and indeed bankroll management.

I am irrefutably the latter.

As an obsessive reader, I consume everything I can get my hands on. I subscribe to a multitude of magazines, have my library card number memorized and possess a google reader account with well over 100 blogs. And yet when my Card Player comes every two weeks, without exception I completely disregard any articles dealing with bankroll management. With all due respect to excessive continuation bets and a seemingly endless obsession with looking at poker as an extension of proof of "manliness" ... bankroll management is without question the biggest "hole" in my game.

As I revealed in a previous post, I have never deposited more than $200 into any poker account (when poker was legal of course) and yet I have never played a cash game lower than .50/$1 and routinely buy straight into $24+2 tournies. Despite several cashes in the hundreds of dollars, the reason for the dearth of poker posts over the past month is that I went broke early last month (again).

You want to talk about shows of "manliness" ... what can be more humbling than going bust? I should know. I am without question a losing poker player over my months of Full Tilt participation. I firmly believe that it has nothing to do with my poker skill or lack there of. While I am not yet ready for the $50,000 HORSE at the WSOP, I without question should be a winning poker player.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) poker is not only a game of skill, but it is a game of percentages. Those percentages dictate that you will not always have winning sessions no matter your skill. They dictate that despite being all-in with your last $100, your opponent IS going to hit that two-outer somewhere around 10% of the time over the LONG RUN. Variance is a bitch.

But it is a high maintenance bitch that can be managed by more effective bankroll management...something I am determined to adhere to this time around. Discipline. Not in the "catching a fly with chopsticks, Mr. Miyagi" kind of way, but a "I will not directly buy into the $50 +5 satellite for the Sunday $500,000 guaranteed when I have $56.39 left in my account" kind of way.

To that end, here are my new bankroll resolutions after having deposited $130 (the sum of cash I got for my recent 30th birthday...seriously...like a 10-year-old buying baseball cards with his $1 allowance):

-- Buy PokerTracker
-- Actually USE PokerTracker
-- Keep track of success in token frenzy tournies to see if they're +EV for me
-- Play only in token sit and gos
-- DO NOT buy directly into any tourney higher than $10+1
-- DO NOT play any cash games higher than .25/.50 until the bankroll is doubled
-- DO NOT play any Hi/Lo games unless the stakes are so low I can buy-in with coins I found in my couch
-- Pot Limit is my preferred brand of hold'em...so actually PLAY it for a change

These are clearly not scientific. These are clearly tailored to my preferences of tournaments over cash games. I would not recommend these to anyone else. But I believe doing this will tell me in three months whether I am truly a winning poker player or if I need to go back to trying to break 110 and make golf my obsession ... er ... hobby.

After a weekend of adhering to these rules (minus the PokerTracker) my bankroll sits at $192 with one $26 token in the account. That's the good news. The bad news is that following one disastrous departure from the rules, my bankroll went from $206 down to $140 before building it back up. Someone please keep me AWAY of the .50/$1 Omaha tables. Maybe I should pretend that I am a democrat and the table chatter at the Omaha tables are full of logic and reason.

"If you're not a liberal when you're young, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative when you're older, you have no brain."

-- Winston Churchill