Ummm...this is really embarassing

It's one thing to completely implode in the comfort of your own home, ITunes in your earphones, lights off so as not to wake the kids or worse yet, the wife. At times like those, routinely breaking any pre-determined set of rules is just met with self-flagellation and an undeniable urge for a double Woodford Reserve.

But to blog about it...to sound like a broken record...to every day wake up, fire up the Acer Aspire and carefully craft an explanation for your lack of discipline...calls for TWO Woodfords.

Bottom line: Full Tilt account = $258.40. Oh yeah, I forgot one other sentiment. Guilt.

Yesterday, I fired up the FT client and sat down at two PL .25/.50 HE tables and started the grind. I was down $1 at one table and up $2.50 at the other when I thought, eh, perhaps I should investigate the Omaha Hi tables. Doh.

Sure as shootin' there was only one "full" table that was even remotely within my bankroll, but EXACTLY the table I vowed to stay away from: .50/$1. But I figured, what the heck...only play the nuts, right? A mere 25 minutes later, I had run my $55 short buy-in up to over $200, back down to $50, up to $185 and down to $110. For those with the 'roll to play these limits, that volatility is expected. Indeed, this should be considered a good session. But to me, these swings represented great opportunity and great opportunity for ruin.

To make matters worse, I joined one of the $26 token frenzy tournaments during my Omaha run, closed out the tables I SHOULD have been playing and proceeded to donk off my entire stack in the first level. My thinking? "I'm up so much at the Omaha table that this really doesn't matter...I'll either run this up and coast into a token or bust out and go back to hoping to fill up my boat on the river to beat the nut flush I know I'm up against in Omaha."

Repeat after me, "Relatively (for your bankroll) Hi Limit Omaha is not a sure-fire slot machine...Relatively (for your bankroll) Hi Limit Omaha is not a sure-fire slot machine"

Disaster.

But all alcoholics *ahem* Mel Gibson *ahem* have slip-ups and as a bankroll-demolishing-addict I expect no less from myself. I still have the desire. I just hope the follow-through will follow soon.

Until then...anyone up for Omaha?